I am scared.

Although I did fairly well in the last 2 years of community college and then an additional year(I planned on leaving to Nepal for starting MBBS a year ago) and then my parents cancelled my ticket because of their selfish needs, I didn’t let that bother me since it was just one more year of waiting and then I would be off to 5 years of Med School in Nepal to earn a MBBS degree and I could return to US for a residency, consequently making me a Physician which was all I ever was passionate about. My dad who has a new family now, with my mom having passed away when I was too little, knew that college would cost a vast amount of his fortune if I stayed with him or was dependent even partially of him. Hence, he had told me to move out a while ago with all the mental tortures that he could possibly think of, but I knew it would be only a while of waiting then I could be just as independent and able to live by myself once I got to the Med School in Nepal if he agreed to pay a tiny amount of what he had to pay for University, and Medical School expenses if I was to study in USA. Agreeing to that, my step-mom and my dad brought me to Nepal after that additional year, but after coming here, they hinted pretty strongly that they wanted to officially abandon me by letting me have a fourth of his property in Nepal as per the rules in this country(according to the rule, a father must provide his children with parts of his property when the child is an adult and requests for it). I just wanted to fulfill my goal of becoming a doctor, so I did not care much since I knew his nature and if that would make me happy with the added benefit of me getting to study here with that money, I signed the papers abiding by all the customs and laws. I received a 4th of the property and started applying for Medical School here as he left soon after that. Not saying it did not hurt to become an official ‘orphan,’ but it did not hurt as much as the next thing that came.

Somewhere I heard that bad things come in threes and so do good things: The medical school council system here is a bit unfriendly to foreign undergrads as I came to soon learn recently. They told me I either had to have Physics, Chem, Bio in my Junior or Senior year in High School OR have a Bachelor’s degree in those subjects. I had all those subjects with A’s and B’s but neither of those criteria fit me. Mind you that I did have a couple of higher levels of Chemistry classes in High School and college, Physics in College and Advanced Level of Biology in H.S., as well as other Biology classes. I think I was a bit over-prepared than most who apply here but I was wrong– at least according to the ‘system’ here. The same system which goes corrupt in a second when a minister wants to enroll his spoiled, drug-addict son to any school he wants without a bit of a problem but doesn’t care for students who are more qualified than an average applicant. The same system which has no rules. Ah, at least we have one thing that’s developed in Nepal- our grand system. Anyhow, eems a bit unfair, but is the world fair after all? So yea, bad things– in threes. Unfortunately, this is probably only the second or third in its line(as I haven’t received a note of the first good one to come but I can think I can see the third big one coming along the path on my arduous journey to living by myself and then earning enough to go to college and pay for all my expenses when I return back to US.)

Regardless, I am going to US in within 2 months. I can live with a relative for a month or so but I will have to find an apartment or a room with a room-mate to live in soon enough, apply for community college, decide on my major, pay almost double of tuition fees since I am an out-of-state resident– hence find and work on job or jobs to pay for all that, perform well enough in college to warrantee scholarships if possible, and then hope I do good enough in Extra Curricular activities to apply for yet another hard-fighting chance to get into a Medical School because if not, I will just get a Bachelor’s, and then a Master’s degree and start working.
Pretty sure there is much more good and bad to come than just these because life is pretty far from what I had planned it out to be(and maybe that’s the case for most), but I thought that I should at least dare to sketch some lines before painting colors on this blank canvas of my life I see in front right now. Who knows, maybe it will look decent. But for what’s to come, I am very scared.

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